UNTamed: a bay falls high novel

  UNTamed

  a bay falls high novel

  Jaxson Kidman

  Contents

  Welcome to

  UNTamed

  Prologue

  one

  two

  three

  four

  five

  six

  seven

  eight

  nine

  ten

  eleven

  twelve

  thirteen

  fourteen

  fifteen

  sixteen

  seventeen

  eighteen

  nineteen

  twenty

  twenty-one

  twenty-two

  Epilogue

  Want more #bfh?

  What is #bfh vs #hch?

  More from Jaxson

  Welcome to

  * * *

  Written by Jaxson Kidman

  UNTamed

  I still am the dirty, poor girl…

  …with everyone staring right at me.

  Look. I took on ‘the Rulz’. Those who do that never get a happy ending in life.

  So why would I expect anything less?

  Secrets from my past come to the surface, and the last person I expect to see shows up.

  I have to question who is a friend, who is fake, and who is an enemy.

  I’m not rich. So the only way to defend myself is to fight back. Literally.

  BFH is made up of fake smiles and eager nightmares.

  My only escape is to go back to the world that gave me nothing.

  Unless I make a choice.

  The choice of ‘one’ … nothing more, nothing less.

  In some way I always knew it would come down to this.

  Me standing alone.

  Three of the hottest and baddest guys standing across from me.

  And this time … I am the fucking prize.

  For good.

  Prologue

  (all your fault…)

  the screams they don’t hear fade

  the tears they don't see pass

  nothing i know can pretend to be real

  so now nobody can kiss my ass

  I finally had what I wanted.

  Silence and pain.

  Two friends sitting down for a stiff drink after a long day of work. Looking like those cliché detectives in those dumb cop shows, wearing long coats and hats. Taking off their hats, placing them on the bar, showing off their rugged and time beaten faces.

  Sipping bourbon, laughing it up, winning the game against everyone’s soul.

  How fucking poetic, Ti. Way to find this side of yourself as you’re waiting to die.

  “Tick. Tock.”

  The only two words I was able to speak.

  The task of breathing was far much greater than talking.

  Plus, what the fuck good was talking when all it did was dig the hole deeper?

  Like at the beach… the one time when I was really little. Really little. And Claire took me. Because Mom had the flu.

  The flu.

  That’s what everyone used to call it. To either protect me or make Mom not seem like such a bad person.

  The fucking flu.

  What kind of flu? The needle flu? The nose flu? The I took-so-much-I-needed-medical-attention flu?

  But whatever.

  It was the fucking flu and I was at the fucking beach.

  This beach was a really nice one too.

  Claire even stopped at a grocery store and let me pick out all the beach toys I wanted. The store where everything was like twice the price because of convenience. I had always admired the toy aisle at the grocery store and Mom never let me get anything. Rightfully so. I knew we were poor. I understood what that meant. So I never put up a fight. Why bother? Mom was using her money wisely anyway… chasing down another round of the flu.

  Claire let me fill up the cart with toys and paid with a fancy looking credit card.

  Then she let me clean out the candy bar section at the checkout and paid again with the same credit card.

  I ate chocolate on the way to the beach.

  And when I got there, I started to dig in the sand.

  And I didn’t stop.

  Other kids were in the water.

  Some were building sand castles.

  I just dug a hole.

  When Claire asked what I was doing, I said I was digging my way to China to live there.

  She dropped to her knees and cupped my face, smiling.

  Holes are made for two things, Tinsley. Either you’re burying something… or you’re trying to dig up something someone else buried.

  I had no idea what that meant.

  So I kept digging.

  I never dug to China.

  I got tired, bored, ate more chocolate, got smacked in the face by a wave, and cried because I wished Mom would stop getting the flu.

  But Claire was right.

  About the digging.

  About everything.

  I heard sirens approaching.

  Getting louder by the second.

  I shook my head.

  Someone was coming to save me.

  But it was too late.

  The hole was already dug plenty deep.

  one

  one

  I just might actually miss you, girl. Damn.

  I dug my toes into the sand and hugged myself. The breeze was cold. Not like winter cold but chilly cold. Even in my favorite hoodie, I was still shivering from the outside in. My legs felt like icicles. Just like the layer of thick ice around my heart.

  Cliché, Ti.

  Kip’s words played through my head.

  I had set them all up and while things didn’t go exactly to plan, my plan happened. They thought they were going to mess with me and I was the one who messed back. Harder, too. And I got to them.

  The look in their eyes, that look of shock and disappointment. Maybe even some sadness too.

  But that was a coin with two different sides.

  Their interest was solely based on the rumor that I had been an untouched, good girl. (Which I still needed to really dig into, by the way.) So all the sweet words and casual moves and stolen kisses… were all bullshit.

  Which I knew. That wasn’t a surprise to me at all.

  The surprise was how dirty I felt.

  Not the dirty, poor girl with the junkie mother.

  No.

  That title went out in the waves a while ago.

  Now it was just dirty.

  Dirty.

  Meaning my appeal was gone because I had given myself to someone else. Not that it was anyone’s business who, why, where, or how many times… or how many people I gave myself to.

  As though I did something wrong.

  Even though it was well known around BFH that the Rulz slapped their friends wherever they felt like it.

  I hated them.

  Pres. Barr. Kip.

  All three.

  On top of that, I had gotten into trouble at BFH once again.

  Blair and Vicky played their rich girl cards and everyone came to the agreement to just stay away from each other. That was the only way Jacobson could keep everyone happy. Including Claire. It was agreed upon that I would take a long weekend from BFH so I could regroup and calm down. Because it was obvious tensions were high.

  Everyone could take their tension and shove it up their ass.

  Tension?

  I shook my head.

  Yeah, it was my fault for messing with the Rulz.

  But then to find out Claire knew my father all along, had him working for her, and then to top it off, the Rulz beat my father up thinking he was some creepy guy looking at me weird… i
t was a disaster.

  More than a disaster.

  My phoned buzzed in my back pocket.

  Another text from Gi.

  Bitch you need to call me! Need to kno ur ok

  I tucked my phone away without replying.

  Gi had been driving me crazy with texts.

  It was bad enough that Iris texted me too.

  They were really worried about me. Which I appreciated. But they were best friends. True best friends. Like what Ruby and I used to be. They would always have each other’s back first. Before anything and anyone else. I would always be the third in line. The afterthought. If we got into a car accident and Gi could save one of us, she’d instinctively grab Iris. And the same for Iris to Gi.

  That was no fault to either.

  It was just engrained in them.

  And that was okay.

  Everything was okay.

  Even though it wasn’t.

  The cold breeze pushed at me some more as I swallowed a breath, tasting the salty air.

  I slowly turned my head and looked at Claire’s house.

  The giant house full of truths. But not secrets. Nothing was hiding. It was all in the open, it just needed to be found. Kind of like the rest of BFH. Everything just waiting to be found.

  I told myself I was done exploring.

  No more digging.

  Time to retire the shovel and do what was right.

  What should have been done a long time ago.

  It was time to leave this place for good.

  * * *

  It was totally contradictory as I packed a bag that wasn’t mine with clothes that I didn’t buy for myself. It was backwards and maybe a little bit of a rich girl move. Not to mention the fact I was going to take the SUV Claire let me drive to get out of BFH.

  But there was a purpose to it all.

  First off, Claire had stated many times she wanted to help. She owed it to me. I deserved it. Whatever any of that bullshit meant. Because she knew how I was raised. She felt guilt for letting me go when she did. But I wasn’t her daughter and it wasn’t her job to save me.

  I was going to save myself.

  By leaving.

  Find somewhere to live and then find a job and then be done with it all.

  Claire could come pick up her SUV and that would be the end of everything between us. Even if she offered me a job or something, I wasn’t going to be able to take it. I needed to distance myself from the flames. To think I was actually going back to that shitty town I came from. To go back to being poor to avoid the drama of being rich.

  How fucking crazy…

  I grabbed my bag and for the last time, I ran my fingertips over the soft comforter on the bed. I was half tempted to grab that to take with me too but that would have been too much.

  I snuck around the house as though it were small and Claire was going to see me.

  There was a good chance Claire wasn’t even home. Plus, the house was so fucking big, the odds of actually running into someone was slim. Unless I went to the kitchen…

  “Food,” I whispered.

  It wouldn’t have been the worst idea to have one of the cooks make me something to take with me. I didn’t have much money on me. Gas, food, all those normal things, that was going to be a problem too.

  I sat on the main steps and thought for a second.

  I could have asked Claire for help. To get an apartment and a job. Then pay her back and be done.

  I shook my head, chasing away that thought.

  My feet moved again, and they didn’t stop until I was outside.

  With my bag on the passenger seat, I looked in the mirror at the giant house.

  It was a really nice house. A really cool house.

  But it was just that though.

  A house.

  Not even a home.

  Just a house.

  I drove down the driveway and left.

  I knew I was leaving a lot of unanswered questions behind. But that was the point, right? To just leave it behind. Because it seemed with each answer came another question or another step down into the hole that had been dug.

  Somewhere in my heart and mind I thought I was going to break them. Embarrass them. Show them that while they could fuck with anyone at BFH they couldn’t fuck with me.

  That didn’t work out.

  At least not in the way I had hoped.

  Which made everyone else right. When it was suggested for me to back off or walk away from the Rulz I didn’t. I got closer. Because I secretly liked it all. The attention. The kissing. The touching. The allure of more waiting with just one more breath. Knowing that I could choose whoever I wanted to have me…

  All of it would fade away with time.

  That was the beauty of time.

  Everything would fade.

  It would all just fade… away…

  My foot gently pressed the gas pedal.

  I needed speed and distance.

  That would mix with time and everything would…

  “Fade,” I whispered.

  I had to hit the brakes.

  Hard.

  Really hard.

  So hard, my arms locked and I thought I was going to crash.

  Because another SUV darted out onto the road, sideways, almost tempting me to hit it.

  I was able to stop in time before hitting the SUV.

  Which pissed me off.

  I wish I hit the SUV.

  Because before the doors opened, I already knew who was inside of it.

  two

  two

  I wasn’t going to get out of the SUV unless they dragged me out.

  That thought washed over my head as Pres got out of the driver’s side backseat and looked right at me.

  That stare made me shiver.

  And not in the way I liked to shiver when I was near him. Or the other two.

  Kip was the driver and just left his door open, walking toward my SUV.

  Right there in the middle of the road.

  Dangerous. Stupid. Crazy.

  Instead of BFH it should be called DSC.

  Barr strutted around the front of the SUV and right on cue, he flicked away a cigarette. He walked through his own cloud of smoke and I did my best to keep my face straight, as though I didn’t miss the smell of his smoke. Or the way Kip looked at me. Or how protective Pres was.

  Kip walked right to the window and knocked on it.

  I stared forward.

  Staring at Pres.

  He stood at the front of the SUV and folded his arms.

  Those big and strong arms.

  That wicked look on his face.

  The passenger door opened and I turned my head to see Barr climbing into the seat. He grabbed my bag and tossed it to the backseat like it was his own bag.

  “Get the fuck out,” I said.

  “No,” he said and shut the door. He reached for a cigarette and lit it up. “Hope you don’t mind.”

  “Claire does,” I said.

  “Oh well for her then,” Barr said.

  He blew smoke and it hit the windshield, spreading across it, looking for an escape.

  I know the feeling.

  Kip knocked on the window again.

  “He’s going to keep doing that until you put the window down,” Barr said.

  “What do you want? Thought we were done with each other,” I said.

  Barr grinned. “Liar.”

  I thought about Pres’s last words to me before I left Kip’s house the day everything exploded between all of us.

  That this thing was far from over…

  My left hand slid from the steering wheel and I put the window down for Kip.

  “Hey, girl,” he said. “Where are you off to?”

  “Going to meet my boyfriend,” I said. “He’s so big… everywhere…”

  Kip grinned. His blue eyes had that same stare as always.

  “Missed you too, girl,” he said.

  “I didn’t,” Barr said.

 
I turned my head. “Well then, fuck you. And get out of my fucking car.”

  “Not a car, love,” Barr said. “This is a big and strong SUV. Worth about eighty grand off the lot. But this one… this one is really nice…”

  “Yeah,” I said. “I like it.”

  “Too bad it’s not yours,” Barr said.

  “Oh, right. Because I’m poor. Is that why you’re here? To remind me of how fucking poor I am?”

  “Nah,” Barr said. “You do that yourself when you look in the mirror.”

  “Fuck you,” I said again.

  “If you say it three times, he gets hard,” Kip said.

  I clenched my teeth and looked at Pres.

  I swore he hadn’t blinked yet.

  “What do you want?” I asked.

  “Just to talk,” Kip said. He opened my door. “Come talk to Pres for a second.”

  I looked at Barr again.

  “Just to say hi,” Barr said. “Probably give you a little kiss. Then send you on your way.”

  “So he still has interest, huh?” I asked. “But not you?”

  Barr leaned toward me. “I’m here, right? If I wasn’t interested, I wouldn’t be here. And now that I know your dirty poor girl secret… I can’t stop thinking about it, love. No innocence left to you, huh? That means you know what you’re doing. I bet we can challenge each other…”

  Barr took a drag of his cigarette and I got the hell out of my own SUV to get away from him.

  Where was the sexy as fuck guy who played piano in the underground bar and got into a fight for sleeping with some dude’s girlfriend? That guy was wild and free, laughing, open…