HIL: a bay falls high novel Read online

  HIL

  a bay falls high novel

  Jaxson Kidman

  Contents

  Welcome to

  HIL

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Epilogue

  What more #bfh?

  What is #bfh vs #hch?

  More from Jaxson

  Welcome to

  xxx

  * * *

  Written by Jaxson Kidman

  HIL

  Yeah, beauty, you know about me.

  At least you think you do.

  Some of you hate me.

  Some of you love me.

  I don't care either way.

  I don't care about anything... except the girl that keeps showing up to my shows.

  Standing in the crowd. Looking at me. Flirting with me.

  Kissing other guys to make me jealous.

  Who is this girl? And why can't I take my eyes off her?

  Prologue

  I have to do the right thing.

  The words right and thing weren’t something I’d usually put together.

  But this was what life had become.

  Worrying about the right thing. Caring about the right thing. Actually figuring out what the right fucking thing was and doing something about it.

  I looked out the window of my brand new SUV and saw the world passing by me as I drove. I licked my lips, dying for a cigarette.

  My eyes moved to the right and I saw the cigarettes on the front seat next to me. The best kind of passenger. All for me. Does what I want. Gives me a sense of pleasure. There’s always more waiting. And they never talk back.

  At the same time, I had my guitar in the front seat too. Balanced on the floor with the neck resting against the front of the leather passenger seat.

  I reached across with my right hand and flicked the strings.

  They didn’t make a noise because they were pressing against the seat.

  My hand twitched, wanting to grab a cigarette.

  But I didn’t grab a cigarette.

  Why?

  Because I have to do the right thing.

  I waved my hands like I was an orchestra conductor.

  “Sing it with me,” I whispered. “I have to do the right thing. Oh, I have to do the right thing. And then I’ll figure out some more fucking words… to sing. And then I can order food that someone will bring. Find a cute girl that likes me for a one night fling. But I know what happens with that kind of thing. When I get a text message, my phone goes bing. And if I swing another fist or two then I’ll become king.”

  I ran out of rhymes, not that I was actually trying.

  It was just something to do to kill time.

  Because I was doing the right thing.

  Just driving.

  With a destination in mind.

  I checked the mirror and smiled.

  Then I kept my eyes on the road.

  I ran through some songs in my head, but that wasn’t going to cut it. That only added to the pain I felt inside my heart. Everything twisted up and tied off and ready to break apart. That was how I was supposed to keep everything together.

  Last thing I needed was to fall in love.

  Oops.

  Last thing I needed after that was to fall in love with the wrong person.

  Was she really that wrong though?

  I gripped the wheel tighter and curled my lip.

  The words wrong and perfect became the same in my mind.

  And then the last thing I needed after that…

  I laughed.

  I reached for the cigarettes and grabbed the pack.

  I put the pack on my lap and put the window down a little bit.

  “Dammit,” I whispered.

  I threw the cigarettes across the seat.

  “Sorry, old friend,” I said. “Maybe we’ll meet again. I really hope this isn’t the end. Maybe once we get around the bend. We can find our way to mend…”

  I shook my head.

  I was losing my mind.

  Missing her. Not smoking. Doing the right thing.

  Doing the right thing.

  “Doing the right fucking thing,” I whispered.

  The light ahead turned yellow then red.

  I came to a stop and looked in the mirror again.

  Then I turned around and leaned back as far as I could go.

  “Hey, my sweet beauty,” I said in a soft voice. “I’m here. We’re almost there. You’re pretty damn cool, you know that? You make doing the right thing easy.”

  She wasn’t a newborn, that was for sure.

  But she looked at me.

  I was still figuring it out.

  I smiled at her.

  How could I not?

  She was the daughter I never knew I had.

  Chapter 1

  I sat on the edge of the bed and watched the sun crawl through the curtains.

  I tipped my head to another crazy day of life.

  When I stood up, I stretched and floated my way to the dresser and grabbed a cigarette.

  It was always important to start the day right.

  Behind me I heard the ringing bells of a cellphone alarm go off.

  I looked back and saw an arm climb out from under the blankets and grab the phone.

  Then came an annoyed groan.

  Good morning, beauty, I whispered in my head.

  I left the bedroom and walked downstairs through my house.

  My house.

  One of the houses on the massive property that my mother and Ash’s father owned.

  It wasn’t all that bad of a gig though, when you thought about it.

  The main house was the mansion. Of course.

  We’d visit there at least once a day. Sometimes even sit and eat dinner there. Like a real family.

  That made me laugh.

  I lit my cigarette and watched the sun rise.

  Everyone thought I was this hard ass prick, right? But I enjoyed watching the sunrise. With a cigarette. After an enjoyable night with…

  Someone.

  Someone… was one… pretty girl… that ended up on a table at Raza’s party… she slipped and fell into my arms… I told her she owed me… she said she’d pay up right there… she didn’t want to go home because her parents were out of town… so I brought her back here… it was a study date… I studied her body… I got an A+++++ plus some extra credit… because she was someone… was one… pretty girl… someone who starts with an S… S is for… snake… sky… slut… but she’s not a slut… she said that… lots of S’s there… because S is for…

  “Sadie,” I said.

  I clicked my tongue and nodded in approval.

  Whether I was right or wrong, her name was now Sadie.

  And I’d either drop her off at her house or take her to BFH where she could enjoy the opposite of a walk of shame. Being on the back of my motorcycle to BFH was like a ride of glory.

  I laughed again.

  I was fucking killing myself with jokes.

  It was nice to have a night off from the bullshit though.

  Watching Uly and Mara struggle to figure out how to spend more time together. Which was easy t
o solve. Uly needed to kick Miss Whitaker out of his house and move Mara in. Or keep both. But he kind of did that already. I think he did. Mara was forever there, in the guest area of the house. Unless that was their part of the house now. What the fuck did I care?

  Then again it was a pleasant distraction from Ash and Belle.

  Goddamn Ash.

  My fucking stepbrother and he’s the one who snagged Belle, huh? I should have seen that coming from a mile away too. The quiet, brooding, tattooed asshole always grabs the girls. Goddamn. Yet I was the one who took Belle for a ride on my motorcycle. I took her down to the beach. She got to meet Leo from HCH. And she got to meet what my fingers could do besides play guitar.

  But I think in a way both Uly and I knew her eyes were locked to him more than us. It was just the way shit went. They couldn’t get enough of each other. And that was good for them. Hearing them tell each other they loved each other was definitely some of that bullshit awww moment kind of stuff.

  My awww moment with Sadie last night was very different.

  She was the one saying awww and she probably did fall in love with me.

  But that was the beauty of the next morning.

  The sun lifted up from the ground and the world flipped itself over, wiping the slate clean.

  A chance to start over.

  No bullshit needed.

  I finished my cigarette and went back inside to find a shirt.

  It wouldn’t have been the first time I showed up to BFH missing clothes, but that would be a whole other story to tell.

  I opened my bedroom door and saw Sadie in a towel.

  Nothing but a towel.

  Her clothes on my bed.

  “Good morning to me, beauty,” I said.

  Sadie groaned. “This is a nightmare.”

  “What is?”

  “Waking up to you,” she said.

  “Want me to go get a table for you to dance on?”

  “Funny,” she said. “Can I get a little privacy here?”

  “For what? Nothing I haven’t seen. Or kissed.”

  Sadie put her head back and groaned again.

  I laughed.

  I walked to my dresser and got a fresh black t-shirt.

  My leather jacket was on the floor where Sadie had thrown it.

  I swiped that up too and then went to my closet. I had a shit ton of hoodies for occasions like this. Sort of a parting gift. Spend some time with Hil and you get a hoodie and a story you pretend to regret but secretly bite your lip about when nobody is looking because you want it again.

  I threw the hoodie at the bed.

  “Throw that on and I’ll give you a ride to your house, beauty,” I said. “Then you can freshen up and show up to BFH late and lie to everyone and say you overslept.”

  “Oh, like you’re not going to broadcast what happened last night?”

  “Why the fuck would I do that?” I asked. “You’re far from my first, beauty.”

  “Oh, god, what does that make me?”

  “Makes you a number, but a pretty fucking hot number. Those moves on the table caught my attention. And everything you said and did was the truth. And you can’t even say with a straight face we were drunk. I wasn’t there to drink. And neither were you.”

  “Hil… can you do me a favor?”

  “I know. Get the fuck out of the room. I get it, Sadie. New day, new rules. I respect it. I’ll be outside waiting. Feel free to leave an article of clothing under my pillow. Something to snuggle with later.”

  I laughed one more time as I left the bedroom again.

  As Sadie got dressed, I smoked another cigarette.

  She came out of the house wearing my hoodie and her shoes. The rest of her clothes were stuffed into her bag. She wasn’t keen on riding my motorcycle, but she was last night.

  Kind of like riding me…

  She yelled into my ear where she lived.

  Another pretty rich girl in BFH.

  I pulled up to her driveway and she hurried off my motorcycle.

  “See you later, Sadie,” I called out.

  She spun around, middle finger waving at me. “My name is Sophie, you fucking asshole.”

  I shrugged my shoulders.

  Then I left.

  Oh well…

  Sadie… Sophie… what’s the fucking difference, right?

  * * *

  I turned the corner and watched as Ash had his right hand pinned to Belle’s hip, holding her against her locker. She stared up at him with eyes that were fucking dangerous. I stood and watched the two of them together. Whispering I love you to each other. Apparently at some point in their wild relationship Belle hadn’t said I love you enough times to match Ash’s. It was their thing. Their love. Their moment.

  But I was Hil.

  Fucking Hil…

  I snuck my way into their moment and put my left hand to Belle’s hip.

  “Now tell me you love me too, beauty,” I said.

  Without hesitation, Ash turned and swung at me.

  I was good at dodging punches.

  I had been doing it for a long time.

  And if a punch were to land, then that person would take more than a few from me in return.

  Ash missed his punch but he grabbed my shirt.

  I grabbed his shirt and smiled. “Come on, bro, it’s just a joke.”

  “I don’t like those kinds of jokes,” Ash said.

  “You can’t stop thinking about all the things I did to her, huh?”

  “Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Belle said as she got between us. “We all know the stories. Good for you, Hil. You have one good story to tell.”

  “Oh, he has more than that,” Ash said. “Who was on your motorcycle last night?”

  “What?” Belle asked.

  “Yeah, he darted out of Raza’s pretty quick,” Ash said.

  “I know nothing,” I said. “It was a bullshit kind of night. Nothing good was happening.”

  “I second that,” Uly’s voice chimed in from behind me.

  “You were just pissed because Mara wasn’t there,” Belle said.

  “Your point?” Uly asked.

  “I think it’s cute that you have a dork for a girlfriend,” I said. “She’d rather study than party. How amazing.”

  “Fuck off, Hil,” Uly said. “She wasn’t studying. She had to deal with some shit with her mother.”

  “Speaking of shit with their mother,” Belle said with a grin.

  Uly pointed to her. “It’s all taken care of. Life goes on as normal.”

  “So your monthly selfie is back in effect?” Ash asked.

  “Fucking right it is,” Uly said. “Now… what’s going on around here?”

  “Hil had company last night,” Belle said.

  “Right or left hand?” Uly asked.

  I curled my lip.

  The guy fucking falls in love and starts grabbing at my lame jokes?

  “Look, I went home and crashed,” I said. “Nothing happened.”

  “Yeah, right,” Ash said.

  “I want details,” Belle said.

  “Why? Ash not getting the job done? Do you need a little extra from me?”

  “Hey,” Ash growled as he punched my shoulder.

  I shook my head. “Whatever. I kind of feel like blowing out of here and going to jam out a little. Grab the sun before tonight’s gig.”

  “We should work on something new,” Uly said. “I’ve been writing some stuff.”

  “All that lovey dovey bullshit stuff because of Mara?” I asked. “Fuck that.”

  “What the fuck are you talking about?” Uly asked.

  “Come on, man,” I said. “I search the sky for stars, but found your eyes instead, giving me hope, I’m awake in bed. Running laps on the empty track, for time I’ll never taste, driving faster than life itself, my heart, your love, is poison, it’s all laced.”

  “What?” Uly asked.

  “That’s heavy,” Belle said.

  “It’s so sweet,” Ash sa
id.

  “It’s fucking stupid,” I said.

  “Fuck you,” Uly said. “I don’t see you writing songs right now.”

  “You can sing that one yourself,” I said to Uly. “I’ll sit my ass on the edge of the stage and have a cigarette break.”

  “You wish you could write like that,” Uly said. “You just scream random words and hope it works.”

  “And it always does,” I said. “Right, Belle?”

  “Sure, Hil,” she said. She patted my chest. “Sure.”

  Ash touched her wrist and move her hand to his chest.

  I grinned.

  I loved watching my stepbrother play the tough guy act even though it was just pure jealousy. Because no matter what, he didn’t trust me. If something were to happen between Belle and I… or if I was in that moment with her…

  Shit, I didn’t trust myself.

  I looked at Uly and knew what that was like.

  The shit he and I went through with Penelope.

  The sound of her name in my head made me want to scream.

  I looked forward and saw someone walking toward us.

  I stepped to the side and blocked the hallway.

  “Hey there, Sophie,” I said as she hugged her books to her chest the way she had been hugging me last night.

  She was with a friend.

  They both stopped.

  Sophie looked like she’d seen a ghost.

  Her friend looked confused.

  I turned and leaned against the wall and let Sophie walk by.

  Then I had Uly, Ash, and Belle looking at me.

  I grinned.

  Uly looked over his shoulder and shook his head.

  “Shit,” he said.